My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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