Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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