i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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