like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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