I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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