Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
