i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
