Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
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