sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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