im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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