saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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