I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
