How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
