I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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