After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
