he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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