she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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