I hate your face
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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