Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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