watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
