I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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