If i come over, it means nothing
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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