it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
