I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Is Oprah even human
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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