you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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