Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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