i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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