she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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