Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
