We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So. Much. Porn.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize