When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize