guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
