Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
