Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
