I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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