It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
