I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
