so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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