Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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