If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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