im having a threesome with these popsicles
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
