Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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