Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
