They should really pass out barf bags in church
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
