weddingsv make me drug and hornr
it was like eating out sand paper
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
