My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
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