I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
