dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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