we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
