I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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