Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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