Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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