my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
