At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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