I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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