is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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