Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize