Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize