If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I came so hard my ears popped.
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