that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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