She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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