I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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