This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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