is wine microwaveable?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My vagina is officially offended.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
